Love? Friendship? It Doesn't Exist
by OtherXSideXOfXSorrow
Summary: NOT MARY SUE! This is her second life. But with everything she's been through, it's hard to give it a chance. She doesn't believe in the Valar despite she's met them, and she doesn't look out for anyone besides herself and her blood-bound sister.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Lord of the Rings. God knows I wish I did, though...Imagine all the money I could make! Mwahahahahahaha!

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><p><strong>PROLOGUE: Death and Awakening<strong>

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><p><strong>Raven's POV:<strong>

At first, it was the name-calling._ "Dumb, dork, bitch, ugly, loser, stuck up, snob, moron, witch..."_ I didn't mind that as much as others might, though. I had it worse at home. I'd become numb to words like that a long time ago. _Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me..._

Then, there were the letters. _"I wish you would just die... They're coming for you... We're coming for you..."_ I didn't mind those, either. They were cowards, and if they faced me, I could easily fend for myself.

And finally, the attacks. The beatings, from children who were supposed to be my peers. I was found bloody in the snow a lot in winter. In the summer, I was usually found in dark alleys. And sometimes, I wasn't found at all. But I never fought back when that happened. They weren't worth my time.

I wonder when I started believing them, believing that I didn't deserve to live, losing the will to live. But by the time that happened, I realized I didn't have the will to kill myself either. So I just stumbled along the path of life, simply existing even though all the people around me said I had no right to.

That's when I started to hate myself for being alive. But I hated them as well, for making me feel that way. And when I turned thirteen, I had scars all over my body, a permanent limp, and was almost blind in one eye.

At first, I wondered what I had done to deserve this. But I soon stopped caring.

So, I started to lash out at them as well. Whispers followed me wherever I went, no matter where it was. Parents pulled children away from me, and those my age beat me and cursed me.

I was attacked by my father once again one night. But this time, I fought back, and killed him. My first kill. I had taken a life, but I felt nothing but emptiness when it happened.

I wasn't surprised when they came for me, the group of people. I had been expecting them for some time. I didn't feel their blows, and I welcomed the darkness when it finally washed over me. I silently thanked them, whoever they were, as everything blurred over, for finally ending it.

For finally killing me.

**3rd person POV:**

"She died, then," one of the Valar said sadly as they watching the mob kill the young girl they had been watching since she had been born. "Poor thing. She never completed her duty in either world..."

"Poor thing? She wanted to die. She admitted it to herself. She got what she wanted."

"Shouldn't we give her soul another chance? This life was hardly a life anyone should ever be forced to live..."

"Maybe," Iluvatar suddenly said, quieting the Valar. "Not in that world, though. Her soul has become lost, and it will take someone special to help her find her heart now. She has suffered greatly..." Iluvatar paused for a second. "Send her to Middle Earth. She will be needed in the future."

Iluvatar turned, and there was the girl, lying unconscious before them all. Iluvatar knelt down beside her, brushing aside a few stray hairs that had fallen on her beautiful face. "It will take many years until the time comes for your spirit to once again be free. Until then, take the form of an Elf and wander to your heart's content..."

The Valar watched as her ears suddenly grew pointed. Her skin paled even more than it was already, and her hair turned jet-black.

Iluvatar continued to speak. "You have been chosen by me as one of my precious children. I have given you several gifts to aid you in your quest to find yourself. May your life in Middle Earth be happier than the one you have previously lived..."

As Iluvatar said those words, her form disappeared.

All the Valar whispered the next two words for the young girl. "_Good luck._"

**Raven's POV:**

I dreamed of many things through the darkness. I dreamed of things that had happened and things that would. I dreamed of creation and the end of the world, and traveled many places as I slept. _Finally,_ I thought as I opened my eyes and was met with a bright white light.

"You have finally awakened, Lady Eruva. Welcome to Middle Earth."

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><p><strong>Note:<strong> This will not be a Mary Sue story. Most of the explanations of why will be found in the next chapter. So, no Lego-mance, no suddenly is perfect in everything, etc.


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